This document is meant for reviewing my own insight at a later time. This document is also meant for review from a few chosen individuals. Taking a good look at my thought process can help find areas to improve upon.
Focusing on Melee and How I got here.
It's worth saying that I strive when I feel like I'm in a great community. When there are people to collaborate with and improve with, I feel like I'm at my best. When I played street fighter it was really hard to get information that helped me, and I felt ostracized for doing what I thought was right.
I am shifting my interests to melee, giving me a chance to address the bad habits that I've developed as a fighting game player. I really like the people I've met so far, and I've brought some friends with me to learn the game with.
While I'll still play street fighter games from time to time, I'm going to focus on melee and really learn that game inside and out. I don't think I'll have a hard time figuring out what to do, but I'm going to have a really hard time forcing myself to sit down and do the necessary training routines to get myself into a threatening player.
Revisiting Street Fighter and Thinking in strokes that were too broad.
I really adore abstract concepts. I love being able to categorize little micro interactions into see the bigger picture labels so I can fit those little micro interactions the world of fighting games into a box that I made myself. I loved abstract concepts before I knew about fighting games, so when I discovered that fighting games were teeming with this kind of phenomenon, I was hooked for good. After 6 years of playing (and 6 years of being blind) I discovered that I love the idea of knowing the concepts much more than I love being a good player who wins often. This is counter productive to my health as a player, so much so that it damaged my identity as a player.
When I first started getting interested in fighting games, I would do things like imagine scenes where I was in a crowded room playing against people who didn't know me at all and as I would out-perform the other players I could feel my own reputation developing right in front of me. I would send myself on these kinds of hallucinatory episodes while I watching footage of other players playing.
One example of what I would do is try to derive the assortment of fundamental concepts that top players would use to develop their play style (which actually worked).
While watching Daigo vs. Iyo, there was an amazing moment where daigo seems to randomly DP into super. This blew my mind!!! I had no idea that something like this was even possible, and to see someone do it in a national tournament was extremely stimulating for me. I needed to know what was going on in his head that made him think that was a good idea.
I eventually discovered that the Ryu : Sim matchup was incredibly unfavorable for my character ryu. Taking risks like this was common place and I can see other moments where daigo attempted to do dp into super previous to the moment where he actually landed it.
Without asking anyone about it, without having it explained to me, I was able to figure it out on my own. An immense feeling of gratification came to me, so much that I needed more matches to watch to develop even more ideas.
I would study footage and develop concepts so much that it inspired me to play. I felt like if I could develop concepts like that I could be a great player too. To be concise, I was wrong.
I thought in such broad strokes that I couldn't even get myself through moments in each match that I played. I didn't have a sense of spacing, I didn't understand that my opponent is thinking and feeling me out, I made the game something that was my little fantasy world. The real world kicked my ass, and it made me excited that there were more things to learn!
So I learned how to properly space normal moves. I learned when to throw fireballs. I learned what to look for. I got really good really fast.
When I showed up on the local scene, I could beat all the newer players and keep up with the veterans. I felt satisfied and self-actualized right from the start.
Then from there it was a slow decline into not caring about punishing moves properly, and not staying fit as far as knowing what to look for when playing certain match ups.
Losing my Rigor in My Final Money Match
In September 2014 I played a FT10 against my mentor. He taught me a lot of the methods that I use primarily in my game plan. My play style is derivative of the things that he taught me. I appreciate him so much for that. Thank you Andrew.
In the months leading up to September, there were other money matches where new players would try to take out the veteran players. In my case, the veteran challenged me. I practiced every, single, day for 2 weeks, something I had never done before. I asked other players for help in that match up... and I played a really important set with a ken player which I felt like solidified my game plan in the money match.
When we play the money match I'm feeling really calm and focused. When we played, I fell behind really fast after taking a 2 game lead. I came back from a 7 game deficit and tied the set score at 8-8. I would look deep inside myself after each game for a way to win the set. I found that if I did fake set play and just refused to play footsies with him and played a keep away fireball game he would just run into fireballs and I would jump back roundhouse anytime he tried to preemptively jump over a fireball.
I won the set, when I won, there were people in the room disgusted and disappointed. I guess I wasn't supposed to win. I lost even though I won.
My competitive spirit was broken at that point. Its been 3 years since that point.
What I'm going to do different this time.
Here's a list of the things I'm going to do differently
It's worth saying that I strive when I feel like I'm in a great community. When there are people to collaborate with and improve with, I feel like I'm at my best. When I played street fighter it was really hard to get information that helped me, and I felt ostracized for doing what I thought was right.
I am shifting my interests to melee, giving me a chance to address the bad habits that I've developed as a fighting game player. I really like the people I've met so far, and I've brought some friends with me to learn the game with.
While I'll still play street fighter games from time to time, I'm going to focus on melee and really learn that game inside and out. I don't think I'll have a hard time figuring out what to do, but I'm going to have a really hard time forcing myself to sit down and do the necessary training routines to get myself into a threatening player.
Revisiting Street Fighter and Thinking in strokes that were too broad.
I really adore abstract concepts. I love being able to categorize little micro interactions into see the bigger picture labels so I can fit those little micro interactions the world of fighting games into a box that I made myself. I loved abstract concepts before I knew about fighting games, so when I discovered that fighting games were teeming with this kind of phenomenon, I was hooked for good. After 6 years of playing (and 6 years of being blind) I discovered that I love the idea of knowing the concepts much more than I love being a good player who wins often. This is counter productive to my health as a player, so much so that it damaged my identity as a player.
When I first started getting interested in fighting games, I would do things like imagine scenes where I was in a crowded room playing against people who didn't know me at all and as I would out-perform the other players I could feel my own reputation developing right in front of me. I would send myself on these kinds of hallucinatory episodes while I watching footage of other players playing.
One example of what I would do is try to derive the assortment of fundamental concepts that top players would use to develop their play style (which actually worked).
While watching Daigo vs. Iyo, there was an amazing moment where daigo seems to randomly DP into super. This blew my mind!!! I had no idea that something like this was even possible, and to see someone do it in a national tournament was extremely stimulating for me. I needed to know what was going on in his head that made him think that was a good idea.
I eventually discovered that the Ryu : Sim matchup was incredibly unfavorable for my character ryu. Taking risks like this was common place and I can see other moments where daigo attempted to do dp into super previous to the moment where he actually landed it.
Without asking anyone about it, without having it explained to me, I was able to figure it out on my own. An immense feeling of gratification came to me, so much that I needed more matches to watch to develop even more ideas.
I would study footage and develop concepts so much that it inspired me to play. I felt like if I could develop concepts like that I could be a great player too. To be concise, I was wrong.
I thought in such broad strokes that I couldn't even get myself through moments in each match that I played. I didn't have a sense of spacing, I didn't understand that my opponent is thinking and feeling me out, I made the game something that was my little fantasy world. The real world kicked my ass, and it made me excited that there were more things to learn!
So I learned how to properly space normal moves. I learned when to throw fireballs. I learned what to look for. I got really good really fast.
When I showed up on the local scene, I could beat all the newer players and keep up with the veterans. I felt satisfied and self-actualized right from the start.
Then from there it was a slow decline into not caring about punishing moves properly, and not staying fit as far as knowing what to look for when playing certain match ups.
Losing my Rigor in My Final Money Match
In September 2014 I played a FT10 against my mentor. He taught me a lot of the methods that I use primarily in my game plan. My play style is derivative of the things that he taught me. I appreciate him so much for that. Thank you Andrew.
In the months leading up to September, there were other money matches where new players would try to take out the veteran players. In my case, the veteran challenged me. I practiced every, single, day for 2 weeks, something I had never done before. I asked other players for help in that match up... and I played a really important set with a ken player which I felt like solidified my game plan in the money match.
When we play the money match I'm feeling really calm and focused. When we played, I fell behind really fast after taking a 2 game lead. I came back from a 7 game deficit and tied the set score at 8-8. I would look deep inside myself after each game for a way to win the set. I found that if I did fake set play and just refused to play footsies with him and played a keep away fireball game he would just run into fireballs and I would jump back roundhouse anytime he tried to preemptively jump over a fireball.
I won the set, when I won, there were people in the room disgusted and disappointed. I guess I wasn't supposed to win. I lost even though I won.
My competitive spirit was broken at that point. Its been 3 years since that point.
What I'm going to do different this time.
Here's a list of the things I'm going to do differently
- Have a clear tournament-based goal
- Record all match footage
- Reduce the amount of friendlies I play
- Do more deliberate training exercises (less shadow boxing)
- Make less assumptions about matchups
- Practice everything no matter how rudimentary it may seem.